Hello again~

by chiroptera Wed 09 May 2018, 1:24 pm

Hey, everyone. I know it's been a while, but I'm gonna try to become active here again! Smile

It's a great little community and I'm sad I drifted away from it and everyone! Looking forward to some friendly faces and cute little mousies! <3

As for why I disappeared, I kind of lost my spark for my mice when Trouble died. I fell into a very bad bout of depression last February after she passed, and had a lot of difficulty even functioning. Taking care of the remaining mice became more of a chore than a bonding experience, which I'm still very guilty about.

I had been having a whole lot of ups and downs mental-health wise even once I started to move on from Trouble's death, and I let myself become spiteful of the remaining mice (and the new girls that I impulse-bought after her death, which I shouldn't have done), which wasn't fair to any of them. One of the new girls ended up being a very, very difficult mouse to deal with. She chewed through the girls' bin screen, and escaped along with Clue and Dragon. I found Clue in my laundry basket, and had to find the two new girls throughout the day. Thankfully they all turned up safe. When Perci chewed through the plastic of the backup bin, I decided I needed to rehome her, which was a difficult decision but I believe was for the best.

Due to my depression, I kept putting off fixing the screen to the girls' bin, and in turn I wasn't checking on them as much as I should have been. I don't even know when Yahtzee passed, I hadn't been checking up on them enough to even notice if she was sick. The other girls had begun to dispose of her body, and while I know it's a natural behavior it still felt like it was my fault that she died. The day after I found her, I had a panic attack because of losing her and work-related stress, and voluntarily checked myself into inpatient at a behavioral hospital. I spent a little over a week there, and I'm feeling a lot better right now.

I'm happy to say that my hospital stay helped me to get back on track. I fixed the bin before I went in, and my roommates took good care of Pumpkin and the girls while I was gone. Now, I just need to work on staying on top of things, with my life and of course with my pets. I've dealt with a lot of my struggles and pain now, and while I'm certainly not free of my mental illnesses, I'm in a much healthier place and am much better prepared to take care of myself and the mice. It's honestly a bit weird to actually feel okay, but it's a good weird. It means I am strong enough to keep going, and I actually feel hopeful right now.

I'm happy to be back to myself, someone who's passionate about animals and my pets and will do anything for them. And I'm excited to be back here at PMF! Love

by CallaLily Wed 09 May 2018, 2:11 pm

Welcome back! I’m glad you reached out for help when you needed it and that you’re doing ok now. hugs

by chiroptera Wed 09 May 2018, 5:55 pm

CallaLily wrote:Welcome back! I’m glad you reached out for help when you needed it and that you’re doing ok now. hugs

Thank you! Ear wiggle

by CallaLily Tue 15 May 2018, 8:58 am

I just noticed.... is that a Krogan plushie in your avatar?

Sorry if it was already mentioned previously. Half of the time pictures don’t load for me. Plus I am very very late in the Mass Effect world. I sort of work that way with video games — come in late and all backwards. Razz

by chiroptera Wed 30 May 2018, 3:16 pm

@CallaLily Omg yes!! That's a plush of Grunt, my actual first-born son. Smile

I love the krogans, I'm actually planning on getting a krogan tattoo soon-ish! That's Trouble on his head.

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